Another attempt at adapting Li Po. A note on Chinese-poems.com stated “at this time, the breaking of a willow twig was part of formal leave-taking.”
Laolao Ting Pavilion (after Li Po)
Where do more hearts break under heaven?
This sad pavilion, where visitors part,
the spring wind whispers bitter goodbyes
and willow twigs never mend.
Transliteration from Chinese-poems.com:
Heaven below damage heart place
Laolao see off visitor pavilion
Spring wind know parting sorrow
Not send willow twig green.
O at the Edges 
Elegant, Robert! I feel like a child asking the magician at a birthday party to “do it again”! Do it again, Robert…maybe this time I’ll see the secret of the trick. *g* –Ron–
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Thanks, Ron. I approach these like I drive – eyes closed, pedal to the floor, and great optimism. 🙂
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Ah, that’s great work, Robert.
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Thanks, Jeff. I seem to spend more and more time on individual words in these pieces. I’m not certain that this one is done, but I’ve abandoned it for the time being.
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That’s good–I think there’s value in not worrying a poem into its final stage. By the time I get to collecting work into a book form, usually every poem gets a seventeen-part-inspection style look-over. How does it fit into the collection? What parts of it have worn in this short time, what parts are still strong? The changes come more easily then.
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Ah, yes. The art of abandonment! I’ve folders and drawers full of bits. Unfortunately most of them deserve darkness.
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Very very interesting, this piece, the Camille Dungy article and the whole blog. I’ll be back.
I have lately been dong someting a bit similar trying to adapt some ghazals by Ghalib for which I have a literal prose translation and some explanatory notes. A great exercise for a poet. Your results are a lot more impressive than mine!
And thanks for liking our Terry Castle post.
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Thank you. This series has indeed been a great exercise, inspiring me to flex otherwise seldom used poetic muscles. And of course it’s been fun!
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Beautifully done! I love your transliterations.
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Thank you.
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Beautiful. Nothing gets lost in translation when you know how to feel it, and find the words so that others may feel it, too.
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Thank you. It’s difficult to not feel inadequate to the task when working with these poems and poets.
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Beautiful falls short. Found it quite interesting the transliteration, and original.
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Thanks very much. These have been much fun (and challenging).
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That is Beautiful!!
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Thank you.
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Love this, especially the transliteration, “Heaven below damage heart place”
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Yes, there’s so much one can do with that as a foundation!
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Wonderful work. Translating poetry is very difficult, but you make it look like a seamless transition!
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Thank you. My hope is to capture some of the essence of the original. Sometimes I get it right (I think).
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Getting close enough to hear the pulse. Fine work, O.
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Thank you.
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I love Li Po and your translation captured the gentle melody and the pensive quality of his poems. Beautiful.
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Li Po is quite the treat! I’m glad that so much of his poetry is available to us.
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I love this. It is much more than an attempt, but, a success…Beautiful! ❤
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I’m so glad you approve!
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🙂
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I love this, there is a captivating quality to it as I have read it several times in succession now and I don’t think I will tire of it soon 🙂
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I’m so glad you feel that way. I never know what to expect after releasing one into the wild.
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Cool at dawn and cool at dusk
Trees like a canopy.
A thousand hills of darkest emerald
Beyond the clouds.
Vaguely a scented rain is falling
Through a haze of green
Glossy leaves and curls of blossom
Shining through the side-gates
Water in its golden pools,
Jade-green ripple trembling.
Vistas heavy with aging spring,
No startled petals fly.
Faded pink and fallen calyx
Dappled in the shade.
-Li Ho
Love Chinese poetry and the simple elegant ways it captures moments. Dig this poem man
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Thanks very much!
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That’s gorgeous, Robert. Your reconstructions are beautifully brilliant. I hope you’ll continue in this. It deserves editorial recognition, compilation, and redistribution in a book of adapted Chinese works. Spectacular!
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These adaptations are fun and challenging. I’ll keep doing them as long as I can find transliterations to work with.
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They’re just amazing and so well done. Thank you. I hope a publisher finds you, or vice versa.
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Thanks, Randy. One never knows what’ll happen with these.
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