Directive to the Circumspect Texan
When the vowel trips through the consonant and knots
the tongue, remember this: artifice. A making. In one
hand, a knife. On the table, cured flesh and fermented
products. Imagine uncertain lighting, laughter, a narrow
opening and the uphill walk three days into the parametric
world of occlusion. Tell no untruths. Mention refrigerators
and your proficiency with duck. Admit failure and order
a second pilz. Listen. Discuss heat and issues of space,
personnel logistics and the pleasure of July departures.
Cite advertising and Ashbery. Savor what is rightly not
yours. Embrace inadequacy. Forego dessert. Express
true gratitude. Say y’all. Shake hands. Find the door.
I love it! Hilarious and scary all at once. I especially love your opening line.
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I had fun with this one – describing a somewhat awkward but enjoyable experience. A while back I introduced myself to a poet/editor who had published several of my poems (he was in town for a reading and conference), and he generously invited me to dinner with two of his friends (both poets, but strangers to me – I really don’t get out much). Being an introvert, I usually don’t place myself in such situations. But sometimes you throw caution to the wind…
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Ah yes, you’ve gotta love being an introvert. Such a treasure trove of awkwardness to draw from, added to the continual party in your own mind. 🙂
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So true!
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This may have wider applicability than Texans and the holidays. 🙂 Lots of fun, Bob.
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Thanks, Cate. I know I don’t own the market on social awkwardness, but I do stake my claim from time to time.
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Love “parametric
world of occlusion.”
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Thank you.
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You wouldn’t write so well if you are out too often 🙂
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Ha!
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Extroversion is overrated. The quiet around-the-house-sneakings of the introvert reveal word treasures! 家は宝の山です。
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I do enjoy my excursions, but am most comfortable at home.
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charcuterie. lovely.
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House-made. Very good, particularly the duck.
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well alrighty then.
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The shifts made me smile.
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So pleased!
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Damned right. Yeehaw and all that.
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Yew bet!
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Very clever 🙂 Don’t go out too often, you might lose the edge!
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Thank you. Yes, I think I’ll stay home. 🙂
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Careful though so you don’t become an eccentric recluse 🙂
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Well, I’m halfway there already!
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I’ve been following you a while, Robert–though here lately I’ve been pretty slack at both writing and reading. (I’m determined to do better this coming year!) Your work is consistently good, always worth coming back for. This one is smart, funny, and very well done.
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Thanks, Jeff. I’ve slacked off on reading, and am also determined to do better in the new year. I truly appreciate your kind words.
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Are you safe down there? The weather looked brutal
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Yes, thank you. We’ve had rain and a bit of hail, but nothing like what the folks in north Texas have suffered.
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Yes, so very sad…I’m glad you’re good
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Reblogged this on Lost Dudeist Astrology.
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People who go round the houses usually find commands difficult to obey …
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My career in the military was rather brief…
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Brilliant.
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Thank you, Charlotte.
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This could easily be adapted to many regions, particularly in my regard as a WNYer transplanted to the mid-west (what an eye-opener), but it would have to be a checklist, making it all the more awkward as I continually referred to it.
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My checklist would have to be on a lengthy scroll.:)
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“Listen.” Absolutely brilliant. I heard that one. Not a single word went to waste. Very beautiful piece you have on your hands, Robert.
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“Listening” is there for us, but we often pass up the opportunity. And thanks for your kind words.
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