Stone Path (after Tu Mu)
High up the cold mountain a stone path rises
to the village in the white clouds.
I stop the carriage and inhale the evening fragrance,
its red, frosted maple leaves richer than any spring flower.
I may have inserted a bit more of myself into this adaptation than is my usual custom. I hope it does not intrude.
The transliteration on Chinese-poems.com reads:
Far on cold mountain stone path slant
White cloud live place be households
Stop carriage because love maple forest evening
Frost leaf red than second month flower
* * *
This adaptation first appeared in October 2014.
O at the Edges 
A very nice poem. Thanks for sharing.
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Thank you for your kind comment, Henrietta!
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This is so evocative. Thank you.
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It seemed peaceful, which is as good a way to start off a holiday of thanksgiving.
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So true! A quiet before the riot. 🙂
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It’s beautiful.
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Thank you.
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If you inserted more of yourself than usual I am glad. There is a presence and immediacy to the poem. .I feel I am simultaneously there with you and Tu Mu.
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Thanks, Angela. Here’s to a pleasant, peaceful holiday!
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The piece of yourself that you put into this allows one to slip into your shoes. You can smell the fragrance, see the vivid reds. Envision the mountain village. Beautiful.
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It seems a good place to come to.
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It is. Tranquil. A good place to stop for the night and recharge. I could build a story around this. Thank you for the imagery.
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❤️🙏🏻
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Thanks, zGGy.
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☺️
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I think you got it just right. 🙂
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Thank you. I’m so pleased you feel that way.
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Another great poetry work, I love it 🙂
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Thanks, Ajibola. Much appreciated.
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I like your rendition better than the other. I am carving a little room on a rocky slope. It reminded me.
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Thank you, Jera.
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Such a tranquil vision.
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Tu Mu set the stage.
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Lovely adaptation, Robert. Happy Thanksgiving!
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Thanks, Randy. Happy long weekend in November!
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Your take is far more accessible for my inner navigator! Beautiful “inhale the evening fragrance”.
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Thanks, Jazz. I’d love to see some maples this year, but alas, it’s not in the cards.
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I love this ❤ Not that I don't dig your poetry anyway … but I think it's the 'more of you' … and the 'culture' that appeals to me … in our language, we would call that the 'mauri' … the spirit, or essence of something 🙂 So, Thankyou 🙂
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Thanks very much!
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Beautifully and simply done, Robert. Amazing, isn’t it, how a short poem often says so much.
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Brevity often adds complexity to these poems.
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Reblogged this on Still Another Writer's Blog.
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Thanks for reblogging.
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You are welcome!
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Very Good! I like both versions.
Dwight
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Thanks, Dwight.
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These old Chinese poems are so beautiful, and convey so much beauty. Thank you.
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They’ve held up over the centuries and still resonate with us.
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Very nicely translated, the poem evokes peace.
Thank you for putting the transliteration up for us to compare to your version. It shows great respect for the reader.
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Thanks, FD. I’ve noticed that newer poets often lack sufficient confidence to trust/respect their readers. Once they pass that obstacle, their writing improves immensely.
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Exactly what I feel in my New York season of Fall!
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It’s not quite the same here in Texas, but one can dream.
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You’ve captured the essence of autumn.
I meant to comment earlier. I was prompted to have another go at this form.
https://rivrvlogr.wordpress.com/2016/11/25/sighs-of-autumn-rain-3-visiting-tu-fu/
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Thanks, Ken. Your go at the form is spectacular. Truly.
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Thank you, Bob. Your words mean a lot to me.
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