This was first published in 1988, in Aileron. At the time I was experimenting with movement and breath and line, and wrote quite a few of these meditations in this form, some more successful than others.
where breath begins
it ends consider
light its secret
structure the sense
of limit defined
if a hand
recalls what the
eye cannot which
is the source
of remembrance one
touches more deeply
or allows itself
to be touched
a difference only
in the approach
You were truly a thoughtful child 😉
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I still am! 😛
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Ditto 😎
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The poet as a young man. I like it.
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Hard to believe I was young once…
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Please record this lovely mediation on memory, especially since without punctuation, its pacing may be misconstrued. Cheers!
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I’ll do that, Wesley. Part of the “experiment” in form was to offer the reader choices. Hmm. I wonder how different my current reading would be from one in 1988.
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I’d say this one was successful!
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This one works ok. The unsuccessful ones have all been scattered in the wind. Ha!
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Even your unsuccessful poetry feels right to me.
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Oh, you should see the pile o’ crap…
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My pile o’ crap is in my draft file.
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Back then I used a typewriter. The evidence was all on paper. Most of it has been trashed, but occasional pieces still surface from time to time.
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Hopefully you didn’t toss a potential masterpiece!
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No worry of that!
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I was 25 and I like reaching back to a few of those poems as well. Some I cut up and just use a line or two that I like in a new poem.
You were already good with brevity then. I was more into explaining
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I wrote a lot back then. Most of it was crap. I’m so glad the internet didn’t exist, as those pieces are better left unread. 😃
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Bob I could not recall but is it now that you can pre-order from Finishing Line? xo
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Hi Candice. Thanks for asking. According to FLP, the order link should be active next week. I’ll announce as soon as I know.
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Great just wanted to be sure I didn’t miss u ♡
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Oh, I wouldn’t let you forget. 🙂 Ha!
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Hahaha! Good! 😉
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This is really good though. A twinge of pity strikes me at learning that you’ve tossed the rest out to the wind…
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Oh, they were pitiful attempts. 😃
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Aw, everyone starts with wobbly feet!
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Wobbly feet and too many words!
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We’d probably benefit from an occasional bout of synesthesia, accompanied by rethinking actions, options and consequences.
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It would be nice to float above all that, but I think you’re right.
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I need to study up on modern poetry techniques… I’ve been wowed over the years by simple things like your poem… I read a blog back in the early days, the post had no capitalization, and the only punctuation was ellipses. As you read it, it gave the illusion of breathing (of the narrator)… along with the subject matter- it was profound. Thanks for the reminder! I love this style! 😊
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Thank you. My motto is “when in doubt, simplify.” 😀
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