Your Armpits Smell Like Heaven

Posted on March 4, 2018 by robert okaji

Your Armpits Smell Like Heaven

But your breath could melt a glacier at three
miles, she says, and then we might consider
the dirt under your nails, the way you slur
your sibilants, and how you seldom see

the cracked eggs in a carton, a downed tree
branch in front of you, the ripened blister
of paint in the bedroom, or your sister
lying drunk on the floor in her own pee.

Back to your armpits. Do you realize
we could bottle that aroma and make
a fortune? I inhale it and forgive

your many faults. The odor provokes sighs
and tingles, blushes I could never fake.
Ain’t love grand? Elevate those arms. Let’s live!

Never in my wildest dreams did I envision writing a poem about armpits. But the August 2015 Tupelo Press 30-30 challenge, and Plain Jane, the title sponsor, provided that opportunity. This first appeared here in April 2016, and was subsequently published in Algebra of Owls. Many thanks to editor Paul Vaughan for taking it.

47 thoughts on “Your Armpits Smell Like Heaven”

Robert Varga on March 4, 2018 at 7:20 am said:

This is wrong on so many levels…so many.

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- robert okaji on March 4, 2018 at 7:35 am said:
  
  Ha! But I can’t disagree with you. 🙂
  
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By the Left Hand on March 4, 2018 at 7:21 am said:

Love it 🙂

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- robert okaji on March 4, 2018 at 7:36 am said:
  
  Thank you, Brett.
  
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derrickjknight on March 4, 2018 at 7:42 am said:

Superb

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- robert okaji on March 4, 2018 at 7:45 am said:
  
  …if a tad malodorous.
  
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velvetscreams on March 4, 2018 at 8:01 am said:

Great

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- robert okaji on March 4, 2018 at 9:00 am said:
  
  Thank you!
  
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familyrulesbyplainjane on March 4, 2018 at 8:18 am said:

❤️❤️❤️

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- robert okaji on March 4, 2018 at 9:00 am said:
  
  The muse arrives in various guises. Thank you, PJ!
  
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Cate on March 4, 2018 at 8:54 am said:

This makes me laugh and consider, Bob. Thank you!

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- robert okaji on March 4, 2018 at 9:41 am said:
  
  It was time for some levity!
  
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V.J. Knutson on March 4, 2018 at 10:55 am said:

Thanks for the laugh, and only you could make a poem about armpits work, lol.

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- robert okaji on March 4, 2018 at 11:25 am said:
  
  And it was in the “Pitrarchan” sonnet form. 😄
  
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  - V.J. Knutson on March 5, 2018 at 2:39 pm said:
    
    Even more impressed!
    
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    - robert okaji on March 5, 2018 at 2:51 pm said:
      
      🙂
      
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Frank Hudson on March 4, 2018 at 11:15 am said:

A honest love poem indeed!

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- robert okaji on March 4, 2018 at 11:26 am said:
  
  Or something like that.
  
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Jazz Jaeschke on March 4, 2018 at 11:36 am said:

Pheromones prevail – even it seems in poetry!

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- robert okaji on March 4, 2018 at 12:26 pm said:
  
  They do, indeed!
  
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Skyscapes for the Soul on March 4, 2018 at 1:26 pm said:

OMG I laughed my way through this, but I totally get it. Sometimes pheromones remove all sense.

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- robert okaji on March 4, 2018 at 2:44 pm said:
  
  Thanks, Jeni. Sometimes we just think we have control of ourselves!
  
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Parmis on March 4, 2018 at 2:12 pm said:

Shockingly delightful! The lyrical scent (may I call it that?) lingers as does the grin on my face!

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- robert okaji on March 4, 2018 at 2:45 pm said:
  
  Ah, yes, the lyrical scent! Love that. Am so pleased to make you grin.
  
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Carmel Bendon on March 4, 2018 at 3:23 pm said:

Fabulous, humorous and a(r)morous – all in one.

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- robert okaji on March 4, 2018 at 6:00 pm said:
  
  Ha! Thanks, Carmel. Very a(r)morous!
  
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David Redpath on March 4, 2018 at 6:04 pm said:

Your romantic poem reminded
me of a Bob Dylan song …
‘Ugliest Girl in the World’.
Warning; If you have a listen,
don’t play it whilst the missus
is within earshot.

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- robert okaji on March 4, 2018 at 9:56 pm said:
  
  I will take your advice! Thank you.
  
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E on March 4, 2018 at 6:57 pm said:

Robert have you been listening in on my marriage? Haha. I’m sharing this with my husband. Some especially great stanzas in here as usual. “Back to your armpits. Do you realize we could bottle that aroma and make a fortune? I inhale it and forgive
your many faults.” In truth he’s pretty faultless.

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- robert okaji on March 4, 2018 at 9:57 pm said:
  
  Ha! My wife just rolls her eyes. She’s had tons of practice over the past three decades. 🙂
  
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ivor20 on March 4, 2018 at 7:36 pm said:

Oh my, I did just go and have a shower and brush my teeth after reading the first two lines, fearing there was worse to come, but no need, I thoroughly enjoyed the entirety of your poem, and your cute finale.

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- robert okaji on March 4, 2018 at 9:58 pm said:
  
  I cooked lamb meatballs with a garlicky lemon sauce, so I’m in need of tooth brushing, too…
  
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  - ivor20 on March 4, 2018 at 11:32 pm said:
    
    Haha, Yep, garlic definitely does it for me !!
    
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Kaela McNeil on March 4, 2018 at 9:00 pm said:

That was a wild ride…

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- robert okaji on March 4, 2018 at 9:59 pm said:
  
  Thank you, Kaela.
  
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memadtwo on March 5, 2018 at 6:19 am said:

All You Need is Love…(K)

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- robert okaji on March 5, 2018 at 9:05 am said:
  
  And apparently a nose. 🙃
  
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Steph on March 5, 2018 at 8:44 am said:

haha, catchy, eye-brow-raising first line. almost passed on it. but glad I didn’t.

yah, lov is nuts. we relish the flavor of fruitcake, even if we can’t stand the aroma of the rum.

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- robert okaji on March 5, 2018 at 9:06 am said:
  
  Yep. Who knows what’ll float our boats.
  
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johnlmalone on March 30, 2018 at 4:42 pm said:

It’s the most arresting poem title I’ve read this year. A clever and witty poem 🙂

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- robert okaji on March 30, 2018 at 5:59 pm said:
  
  Thanks, John. I enjoyed writing it.
  
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Leslie on April 2, 2018 at 1:35 pm said:

How did I miss this gem?

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- robert okaji on April 2, 2018 at 1:38 pm said:
  
  I suppose the arms weren’t raised high enough for you to catch a whiff. 🙂
  
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  - Leslie on April 4, 2018 at 1:49 pm said:
    
    I laughed out loud reading your reply then my sister asked “what’s so funny?” so I had to read everything to her, bringing her up to speed and she laughed, too! Pretty good sharing – my sister isn’t particularly into poetry.
    
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    - robert okaji on April 4, 2018 at 1:54 pm said:
      
      I’ve been accused of being “too serious,” so your comment means the world to me!
      
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