When to Say Goodbye
If all goes well it will never happen.
The dry grass in the shade whispers
while the vines crunch underfoot,
releasing a bitter odor. A year ago
I led my dog to his death, the third
in five years. How such counting
precedes affection, dwindles ever
so slowly, one star winking out after
another, till only the morning gray
hangs above us, solemn, indefinite.
Voiceless. If I could cock my head
to howl, who would understand? Not
one dog or three, neither mother nor
mentor, not my friend’s sister nor her
father and his nephews, the two boys
belted safely in the back seat. No.
I walk downhill and closer to the creek,
where the vines are still green.
In the shade of a large cedar, a turtle
slips into the water and eases away.
* * *
“When to Say Goodbye,” drafted during the August 2015 Tupelo Press 30-30 challenge, was published by Oxidant | Engine in May 2017, and subsequently nominated for a Best of the Net 2017 award.
O at the Edges 
Good one to read again … this time I’m zeroing in on the desire to howl whether or not anyone listens-let-alone-understands … yet equally drawn to the turtle’s model, slipping into water swirling all around w/o any howl, w/o resisting what-is. (Thank you for this level-set.)
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Most of my howls have been silent…
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Heartbreaking, Robert. I feel like I want to howl too—the loss of a pet is too much, and I only recently began to feel grief after many years. A very evocative and powerful piece, the imagery of nature cements that desire to be alone yet understood through one’s pain.
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Grief is something we all share, though perhaps in different measures, with varying timing.
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Haunting and a powerful expression of the inarticulate speech that is grief.
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I never seem to have the right words in grief-stricken moments, but I try to make up for that later, with poetry.
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I really did feel the grief in this its so hard to find words but I sensed it. 🤗❤
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Long ago, I told myself – no more pets. I’ve had enough loss. Then I moved in with a border collie and watched her age. Again I say no to pets. I’ve had enough loss. Who knows when this turtle will show his head, again.
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I know what you mean, but somehow keep adding to the long list…
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