O at the Edges

Musings on poetry, language, perception, numbers, food, and anything else that slips through the cracks.

This is Not Just to Say

Posted on September 18, 2015 by robert okaji

This is Not Just to Say

Okay. I ate the damned
plums. But it’s not my

fault you left them
sitting there on the top

shelf, so sweet, so cold,
enticing me, as only

you, or perhaps a ripe
peach, or strawberries,

or Asian pears or even
pomegranates, can do.

Besides, you need
something substantial

for breakfast. How about
donuts, or bacon, instead?

My apologies to WCW, but I couldn’t resist. You can find the original Williams poem here.

42 thoughts on “This is Not Just to Say”

sundryfolly on September 18, 2015 at 9:14 am said:

This is a creative twist on the TIJTS “form”!

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- robert okaji on September 18, 2015 at 6:08 pm said:
  
  I was in a playful mood. 🙂
  
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vjearle on September 18, 2015 at 9:34 am said:

Ha ha – we’ve all been guilty of this one! Whimsical.

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- robert okaji on September 18, 2015 at 6:09 pm said:
  
  Yes, we have!
  
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Sherrie de Valeria on September 18, 2015 at 10:31 am said:

Hah! Hillarious.
I got to admit, it makes me slobbering all over … em … food! 😀

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- robert okaji on September 18, 2015 at 6:09 pm said:
  
  There’s nothing like a little slobber to get your day going!
  
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Ellen Hawley on September 18, 2015 at 10:33 am said:

I don’t know if I should admit it, but I like your version better.

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- robert okaji on September 18, 2015 at 6:11 pm said:
  
  I love WCW’s version, and wondered what it would sound like if someone else, say one of today’s politicians or reality tv stars (is there a difference?) had written it.
  
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Andrew Reynolds on September 18, 2015 at 11:51 am said:

🙂 Good one.

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- robert okaji on September 18, 2015 at 6:11 pm said:
  
  Thanks, Andrew.
  
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Melissa Shaw-Smith on September 18, 2015 at 12:26 pm said:

Ha! Love it. I’ve rewritten this poem many times in my head–all very irreverently. I suspect it should be a fridge magnet.

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- robert okaji on September 18, 2015 at 6:12 pm said:
  
  It’s been in my head for a long time, too. I do like the idea of a fridge magnet.
  
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Iris@poetsmith on September 18, 2015 at 1:09 pm said:

Interesting version, Robert. Nice thoughts… yummy food! 🙂

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- robert okaji on September 18, 2015 at 6:13 pm said:
  
  Thank you, Iris. Just having fun.
  
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L. T. Garvin, Author on September 18, 2015 at 2:16 pm said:

I love this! It’s a great expansion on the original 🙂

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- robert okaji on September 18, 2015 at 6:14 pm said:
  
  Thank you. It was enjoyable to play with.
  
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Lili on September 18, 2015 at 3:36 pm said:

Great job! It brought back hearing the original poem in a writing class so long ago I won’t admit! I’ve done similar things with Neruda’s works.
Imitation and flattery! 😉

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- robert okaji on September 18, 2015 at 6:15 pm said:
  
  Thank you, Lili.
  
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Wren on September 18, 2015 at 3:44 pm said:

Absolutely love this

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- robert okaji on September 18, 2015 at 6:16 pm said:
  
  I’m so pleased you like it. Thanks very much.
  
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Kiara Belle on September 18, 2015 at 3:59 pm said:

I love the original one of Williams to begin and loved your twist a lot.

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- robert okaji on September 18, 2015 at 6:17 pm said:
  
  The original is perfect, but I felt it important to add two major food groups: donuts and bacon. 🙂
  
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  - christineplouvier on September 18, 2015 at 7:32 pm said:
    
    Don’t forget chocolate.
    
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  - robert okaji on September 19, 2015 at 7:43 am said:
    
    I knew I forgot one.
    
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familyrulesbyplainjane on September 18, 2015 at 11:42 pm said:

I am grinning from ear to ear. Happy!!

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- robert okaji on September 19, 2015 at 7:44 am said:
  
  Feed your joy. Eat a plum (or donut).
  
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  - familyrulesbyplainjane on September 19, 2015 at 8:40 am said:
    
    Plums all the way. At this time of year it is the palm size, deep purple sugar plums–with the musty (or whatever you call it) skin– from the Korean grocery next to my office. Heaven.
    
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  - robert okaji on September 19, 2015 at 9:30 am said:
    
    Now you’ve got me wanting a plum!
    
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linnetmoss on September 19, 2015 at 6:56 am said:

A new twist on one of my all-time favorites 🙂

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- robert okaji on September 19, 2015 at 7:46 am said:
  
  One of my favorites, too.
  
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asweawaken on September 19, 2015 at 11:01 am said:

I appreciated this one because …BACON!

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- robert okaji on September 20, 2015 at 8:00 pm said:
  
  Hmm. I should have mentioned figs in the poem, because you haven’t lived until you’ve had grilled bacon-wrapped figs stuffed with asiago. 🙂
  
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Jilanne Hoffmann on September 19, 2015 at 1:27 pm said:

Sweet! I savored this one. Sorry, couldn’t help it. 😀

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- robert okaji on September 20, 2015 at 8:01 pm said:
  
  Ha!
  
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Holistic Wayfarer on September 22, 2015 at 2:57 pm said:

Heh heh. He just might forgive you – esp if he’s ever tasted an Asian pear. (I recognized the original.)

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- robert okaji on September 22, 2015 at 4:59 pm said:
  
  I hope he’d forgive me!
  
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chichivanilla on September 23, 2015 at 7:53 pm said:

Nectarines are my favourite

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- robert okaji on September 24, 2015 at 5:55 am said:
  
  Another one I could have mentioned!
  
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judytime on October 4, 2015 at 10:49 pm said:

I love Carlos williams

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- robert okaji on October 5, 2015 at 7:57 am said:
  
  One of my favorites, too.
  
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penneyvanderbilt on October 6, 2015 at 12:25 pm said:

Reblogged this on Ancien Hippie.

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robert okaji on October 6, 2015 at 12:53 pm said:

Thanks for reblogging.

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