Calm

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Calm (after H.D.)

I flow over the ground,
healing its hidden scar–
the scar is black,
the bedrock risen,
not one stone is misplaced.

I relieve the ground’s
burden with white froth,
I fill and comply—
I have thrown a pebble
into the night,
it returns to me,
settles and rises,
a white dove.

This is an exercise, using a poem by H.D. (Storm) as the launching point. I’ve tried to emulate her diction and rhythm, with mixed success. Still, it’s fun to try these on occasion.

collareddove48d1

58 thoughts on “Calm

  1. In prison, one of the Creative Writing Workshop inmates/clerk used a form called “scaffolding.” He would take a piece of already published poetry, removed strategic words, then write his own poetry from those words he had replaced. It was an interesting concept, which often worked quite well.

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    • That sounds like fun. Another option is to replace every other line with one of your own, and then go back and replace the remaining original lines. I’ve tried this and failed miserably! But the point is to jolt the senses, to work oneself out of a rut, or at the very least, to try different words or word combinations.

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  2. It sort of reverses the weight thing… H.D.’s storm makes the leaf a stone; your water makes the stone a dove, something that rises. In both cases an image that indirectly evokes the power of nature’s forces in an intimate way.

    I think this was an interesting challenge and I like your poem.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am actively channeling H. (I call her H for short!) at the moment, and she LOVES this poem…but she says that if she were alive today she would be seeing her attorney! *g*

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I was just dropping in, and this was the first entry at the top. I enjoyed your poem, but being unfamiliar with the inspiration, I first read “Calm (after H.D.)” as in after high definition. I was so intrigued! I realize this wasn’t your subject, but man, I’d love to see the result if anyone runs with it.

    Liked by 1 person

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