Your Armpits Smell Like Heaven
But your breath could melt a glacier at three
miles, she says, and then we might consider
the dirt under your nails, the way you slur
your sibilants, and how you seldom see
the cracked eggs in a carton, a downed tree
branch in front of you, the ripened blister
of paint in the bedroom, or your sister
lying drunk on the floor in her own pee.
Back to your armpits. Do you realize
we could bottle that aroma and make
a fortune? I inhale it and forgive
your many faults. The odor provokes sighs
and tingles, blushes I could never fake.
Ainβt love grand? Elevate those arms. Letβs live!
Never in my wildest dreams did I envision writing a poem about armpits. But the Tupelo Press 30-30 challenge, and Plain Jane, the title sponsor, provided that opportunity. I’ll be reading this poem, and several others from last August’s challenge, at Malvern Books in Austin this Friday evening. Join us if you’re able.
Hahaha, I love this π
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Thanks, Jo. It was a fun one to write.
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I’m at work and you made me LOL… literally!
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Ha. Good to hear.
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Break a leg. I hope this one is recorded as the other was.
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p.s. might want to pop a breath mint when you go, or find a way to nonchalantly lean against the wall with one arm up
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I’ll stop bathing today and will eat raw garlic immediately before the reading. Do we call this “method poetry”?
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It’s all for the cause, dear. Don’t be selfish.
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Thanks, PS.
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Except with the garlic, you’ll keep all the vampire poetry-lovers at bay. What—you DON’T want Shelley’s doppelganger or other undead in attendance? How conceited of you, Bob. On the other hand, I think Byron would love a good armpit poem. Be sure to invite him! Good luck—we’re all counting on you. π
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Well, you know, it’s all about ME! Hmm. I think Mozart would appreciate an armpit poem, too.
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I never thought I’d enjoy reading a poem about armpits! I would have not proceeded to read the rest had I not read your other poems before. Fun poem!:)
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Today, armpits. Tomorrow…
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Still love this one! A great way to start my writing day!
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Thanks, Susi. I remember laughing aloud when I read PJ’s title, and then immediately thinking “What am I going to do with this?”
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First poem of the day and what a good laugh I had.
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Then my work is done!
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Good one,it reminds me of Leah Sublime by Late Alister Crowley ! But this one bought a smile on my face unlike latter.
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I’m so pleased to have brought a smile. Thank you.
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I love this. The title got me instantly attracted. I must be gross!
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Ha!
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Not gross at all. There is something so visceral, so primal, about smell. Thank you for this poem
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Am very pleased you like it. Thank you.
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Awesome π
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And perhaps a tad malodorous. π
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It’s all in the nose of the smellee π
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So true!
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How romantic!
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Of course! The Petrarchan sonnet form is particularly good for armpit poems. π
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If that dates with Shakespeare, I’m sure he would agree.
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Maybe I’ve just invented a new sonnet form – the Pitrarchan sonnet… Groan.
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Missed this one first time….love it π
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So glad you finally got a whiff of it.
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Nice one Robert!… Can I take a breath now? π
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Do so at your own risk, Rob.
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Maybe a snorkel required? π
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Good idea!
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This is right up my street and yes, I do have a thing for armpits. There, I have confessed. Loved it…all of it.
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I’m trying to imagine a name for your street. Hmm.
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I’m intrigued. There must be a word that captures such a thing. I’ll think on it as well.
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Stell-a! Stell-a! Oh wait. That’s not a poem. Maybe she’s on (Scented) Desire Street? [In med-speak the armpit’s called the axilla.] I dunno. Other than that, I got nuthin. That will be a wacky reading!
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Something like Fragrant Axilla Lane…
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Oh gosh…that sounds quite tempting, almost sensual.
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Much better than Putrid Pit.
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Ahhh…who knew?
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I certainly didn’t!
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This made me laugjh – then from somewhere in the recessed orbs of my mind it made me recall something I referred to as “gender scent” and yes, it could be bottled and sold!
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Ah, something like pheromones, only not so subtle.
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There are no mounds, without the pits… I like this poem, it smell like this. Very nice, thanks Robert.
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Thank you. Sometimes we hold our noses, sometimes we inhale deeply. π
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Woke up smiling to that!
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And made my day that much better! Thanks, Linda.
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I too have ended up on a kitchen floor of an old farmhouse, self micturated with the liver ravaged remnants of barrel sourced Nikka whiskey… soon to be similarly followed by my tiny girlfriend minutes later. We “fell asleep” rather promptly and woke up wrapped around each other in our joint micturation… in the same spot the next morning. Soiling yourself can be romantic when it is done in partnership… oh how I miss Hokkaido!! ε―γγοΌ
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It may be romantic, but I think I’ll attempt to avoid it. Hmm. The first time I encountered the word micturate was in a John Ashbery poem. Now you are, in my mind, attached to that word, too. π
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Me and Ashbery linked in your mind? I am VERY honoured! I may just micturate myself with excitement!
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But in private, I hope.
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What a sense of humor you have, Robert! Mixed with just enough darkness.
I don’t know whose sculptures are shown in your closing photo, but anyone who reads your poem will never look at those sculptures in the same way again.
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What choice did I have but to write a love sonnet? I don’t know where those sculptures reside, but the photo seemed appropriate. Ha!
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I didn’t think I’d ever read a poem about armpits either, but this is good π
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That makes two of us! And thank you.
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Ah, who would have thought writing about armpits can come out the way you’ve made it… I’m bemused!
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Ah, the lovely armpit! So pleased to bemuse you. π
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Yikes! haha
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Excellent
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Love in all its splendor. And odor.
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Wonderful sense of humor! One could write a comic novel with that as the opening lines, and let the rest flow from it.
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Glad you like it, George. It was all gravy after the first line.
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I LOL’d all the way through this.
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Thank you! There’s romance, and then there’s, uh…
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Only O at the Edges could take armpits into so many real imaginary places and create such resonance.
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Thank you, Helene. Perhaps one day I’ll be known as “the armpit poet.” π
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Don’t look now but… ;=)
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Hilarious!
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Thank you.
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Beautiful piece of words..
π
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Thanks very much.
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Long live our armpits!
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And other parts!
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Ahhh, Robert! I am honored that you are reblogging. And the best part? The photo of the statues is killing me. Perfect in every way!
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I couldn’t resist. And when I saw that photo, I knew it was the right one!
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O.M.G. You are reading it! Can you have someone do a video and post it??
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It was recorded. I’ll post a link when it’s made available.
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Yay, yay, yay!
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I hope my reading does it justice.
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Mmm those pheromones!
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There’s nothing like them!
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Vivid mental picture! Posters, videos, poetry–armpits will overpower the world! In a good way.
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There definitely aren’t enough armpit poems and posters!
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Reblogged this on quirkywritingcorner and commented:
While this is certainly not the normal topic of a poem, I understand his reason for it. It’s done quite well. I think I’ll have one of my characters write a silly poem on some odd body thing. Naturally, it will get into the wrong person’s hands and she will be insulted/offended/hurt by his remarks. Mitch is the character, but I don’t have much more than this bare bones idea. He’s a famous mystery novelist in my book “Triple Trouble in Texas.” Oh, the lightbulb just lit up! That misunderstanding will fit perfectly. ~ Connie
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Thanks very much for reblogging.
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Armpits are a great topic, that’s a great poem. Other body odors could come next
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Thank you. I’m sure they could, but am not sure that I want to sniff them out. π
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ha ha. Poem might stink
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love this…
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Thank you very much.
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Faacinatingly appealing
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Thanks very much.
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Hi Robert. Until I get some momentum, I am soliciting poems for Algebra Of Owls, and not being too fussy about pre-publication either. Would you be happy for me to use “Armpits”? I would need a quick max 50 word bio to append and i would add a link to your blog π
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I’d be delighted, and will send the bio this morning.
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That’s fantastic, thank you Robert π
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I enjoyed this poem, I think it details how love is truly in the eye of it’s beholder or maybe in the nose of this instance.
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Thank you. Love is blind, and perhaps, at times, free of odor. π
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im glad you wrote a poem on armpits. they are a special part of our bodies thathide our innermost scent pleasing to some and not to the uninitiated. it tells you of the persons strength and determination to follow up on his desiores and the way it looks too makes quite a story for those who like to read lol odour apart, and that depends on what you wish to express, there is the visual with all its glorious content
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I never would have thought to write such a poem, but when presented with the title, entered the poem enthusiastically!
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