On Parting (after Tu Mu)
This much fondness numbs me.
I ache behind my drink, and cannot smile.
The candle too, hates parting,
and drips tears for us at dawn.
A non-poet friend asked why I’m dabbling in these adaptations. After all, she said, they’ve already been translated. Why do you breathe, I replied, admittedly a dissatisfying, snarky and evasive answer. So I thought about it. Why, indeed. The usual justifications apply: as exercises in diction and rhythm, it’s fun, it’s challenging. But the truth is I love these poems, these poets, and working through the pieces allows me to inhabit the poems in a way I can’t by simply reading them. And there is a hope, however feeble, of adding to the conversation a slight nuance or a bit of texture without detracting from or eroding the original.
The transliteration on Chinese-poems.com reads:
Much feeling but seem all without feeling
Think feel glass before smile not develop
Candle have heart too reluctant to part
Instead person shed tear at dawn
This first appeared on the blog in October 2014.
O at the Edges 
I understand, completely – both poem and reasoning.
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Thanks, Ken. It’s hard not to dabble!
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This is quite beautiful, Robert. I for one, am glad you continue with your interpretations.
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Thank you, Nadia. They are fun and challenging.
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“A non-poet friend asked why I’m dabbling in these adaptations. After all, she said, they’ve already been translated….” Like Louis Armstrong said, If you have to ask, you will never know…
These retranslations are fantastic. Keep up the very very VERY good work! 🙂
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Thanks, Daniel. These are a form of self-indulgence, but if I can’t indulge myself, who can I indulge? Ha!
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The Chinese-poems.com version registers with me as stiff and too-literally-translated (emphasis on words only). Your renditions (including this) speak to me in a readily-understood manner. Isn’t that the goal of translation? In another few centuries, your renditions may no longer be readily-understood, and then some new poet will come along and say it better for that generation. For now, sooooo glad to encounter yours.
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Thanks, Jazz. I suppose there’s always a risk when inserting oneself into another poet’s words, but how better to become intimate with those words?
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Indeed!
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Your rendition is like a smooth sail catching the perfect wind — into our hearts. Nice that you attempt these and gather old petals to restore into vibrant blooms. Nice work!
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Thank you, Steph. With these, all we can do is try. If my attempts result in someone, somewhere deciding to read these poets, then I have done my job.
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1. I wouldn’t call it dabbling.
2. I don’t know why you do it, but your translations are gorgeous. You bring something to them and they bring something to you. The result is stunning.
3. I don’t actually care why you do it, I only hope you’ll keep on.
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Thank you, Ellen. I think the main reason I do these is that I come to know the poems much better when I work with them. There’s a level of intimacy that I can’t achieve otherwise. And, quite frankly, it’s fun!
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That matches my experience as an editor–work I did until I retired. It allowed me inside a piece of writing. Or, to shift metaphors, it was like singing harmony–at least when it worked, which it didn’t always.
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I’ve found the same sort of communion when writing centos. Harvesting lines from other poets causes me to look more carefully at their work. An interesting process, and invaluable.
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Thanks Robert, another word that I’ve learnt about today, transliterate, and your works are fascinating and make for compelling reading. Again this old dog’s been taught another trick !!
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I truly learn from poetry, Ivor. Thinking about words, and trying to assemble them into a semi-coherent gathering, consumes me. And thank you for your kind words.
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Playing with words…you don’t need any justification for that. I do the same thing with art, making collages based on artists’ work I love. You experience the words/images/colors/forms in a much deeper way. And you learn. (K)
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Yes! And I write to learn.
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Your thoughts give me a new perspective … wonderful
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Thanks very much.
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i love it
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Thank you!
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