Feeling Squeezed at the Grocery Store I Conclude that the Propensity to Ignore Pain is Not Necessarily Virtuous, but Continue Shopping and Gather the Ingredients for Ham Fried Rice because That’s What I Cook When My Wife is Out-of-Town and I’m Not in the Mood for Italian, and Dammit I’m Not Ill, Merely a Little Inconvenienced, and Hey, in the 70’s I Played Football in Texas, and When the Going Gets Tough…
I answer work email in the checkout line. Drive home, take two aspirin.
Place perishables in refrigerator. Consider collapsing in bed. Call wife.
Let in dog. Drive to ER, park. Provide phone numbers. Inhale. Exhale.
Repeat. Accept fate and morphine. Ask for lights and sirens, imagine the
seas parting. On the table, consider fissures and cold air, windows and
hagfish. Calculate arm-length, distance and time. Expect one insertion,
receive another. Dissonance in perception, in reality. Turn head when
asked. Try reciting Kinnell’s “The Bear.” Try again, silently this time.
Give up. Attempt “Ozymandias.” Think of dark highways. Wonder about
the femoral, when and how they’ll remove my jeans. Shiver uncontrollably.
The events in this poem took place six years ago. A lifetime ago. Life is good.
O at the Edges 
You write about it so well.
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Thanks, V.J.
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Welcome, Robert.
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This is a great description of how one’s thoughts wander before and after entering a hospital. I have experience(s) with hospitals, and the mind does indeed wander, daydream, worry, forget, remember in very interesting ways. Thankfully it is all very FREE (yes…$$$ = zero) here in Canada…god bless the Canadian health care system and god bless high taxes…
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My thoughts wander like that most of the time, but hospitals send them into overdrive. I’d gladly pay higher taxes for health care!
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MRI, visits to the psychiatrist, birth… anything… no cost. Taxes are like an upfront fee that you pay for access to it all. Can’t pay tax? You still get it anyways… and potential unemployment insurance, assisted income programs, and so on, PLUS a vigorous national network of food banks, churches, charities, etc. America is an amazing country, but it REALLY pays to be Canadian.
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You’ll get no argument from me!
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I’m immensely grateful for this “good” Life, which would be something else entirely (I shudder to imagine what) without you in it… ❤
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It is good to be here!
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Definitely good to put that in the rear view mirror.
This also describes the sensation of accompanying a person to the ER. I (unfortunately) know it well. (K)
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Oh, yes. Hospitals are never fun!
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I was so relieved to read that coda
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Thanks, Derrick. It’s been six years, and I feel fortunate to have passed that particular test.
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Thank you for the footnote.
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The first time I posted this I neglected to mention that I’d recovered fully. I’ve learned my lesson. 🙂
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Yes…. ER, CAT scan, MRI’s, PET scan, EEG scan, and the list goes on, if I knew all their proper names, I’d need a new updated dictionary…. however life goes on and my heart beats strong, and I’m still moving along…….. Cheers Robert…..
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Ick! I know the feeling, Ivor. Keep moving!
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