Confession to Montgomery, Asleep on the Church Steps
If I walk quietly by
it is not to avoid disturbing you,
but rather myself. What
could I give you
but another bagel, the
boiled dough of nothingness
rising in cloudy water,
delaying, perhaps, another
guilty twinge. You have no
answers but when you
speak to the air, sometimes
a smile creaks through
the broken words, and I
think even in this cloistered
darkness we may close
the circle between halves
and might-have-beens,
an understanding, if only
in the language of bread
and coffee and the
disregarded. But today I stride
on, without pause, counting
on nothing that can’t be
pocketed or spoken aloud,
my steps echoing down
the alley and its secrets,
along the crosswalk’s painted
guides, under the sagging
power lines and through
your streetlight’s dim halo.
This first appeared on the blog in January 2016, and was published in Compassion Anthology in March 2019. I have not seen the man who inspired this poem in over three years. I hope he has found shelter and kindness.
O at the Edges 
This is incredibly honest and compassionate
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I often wonder what happened to him. For years he was a fixture in the area. I heard that he was hauled away in an ambulance one day, and I never saw him again.
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Aww, this is so beautiful. I hope he’s doing okay these days—makes me wonder more about those I’ve seen on the street and if their lives changed too (hopefully, for the better).
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I, too, hope so. Life on the streets is difficult.
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No one wants the homeless on the streets, but they also don’t want housing for them in their neighborhood. Or to pay taxes so they get the social services they need…
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Exactly. It’s much easier to pretend they don’t exist.
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Austin has passed a crack-down-on-camping bill and is now wrestling with where to send all the violators – there isn’t that much jail space! (And that would not prove cost-effective.) It’s very sad to consider the plight of those homeless, how little any handout does. Yet I yield at times rolling down my window to offer solace in a form they seem to appreciate.
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Arghh! Again! I remember when the city cracked down on homeless encampments thirty years (or more) ago. We’ve gone full circle, and nothing has really changed.
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Except that the population (total and homeless) has grown out of bounds, and the homeless are now more conspicuous – encamped under overpasses en masse – the result of being run out of parks a couple years back. It’s heart breaking.
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It is indeed heartbreaking!
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