The subject of Nineteen Ways of Looking at Wang Wei: How a Chinese Poem is Translated, these four lines have not suffered from lack of translation. Gary Snyder’s rendition is beautiful – some might say perfect – as is Burton Watson’s. And then there’s Octavio Paz’s version. Yet I persist…
The transliteration on Chinese-poems.com (which differs from that offered by Eliot Weinberger):
Empty hill not see person
Yet hear person voice sound
Return scene enter deep forest
Duplicate light green moss on
And my take:
Deer Sanctuary
There’s no one on this empty hill,
but I hear someone talking.
Sunlight trickles into the forest,
reflecting onto the green moss.
Time and again Weinberger objects to an explicit first person observer, but to my ear it flows better. I’ve tried to retain a sense of precision in observation and at least a hint of duality, and believe that I’ve succeeded, at least in part. Having carried this poem with me for more than two decades, only now have I felt up to the task of adapting it. I chose the title “Deer Sanctuary” because in my neck of the woods spaces enclosed by “game fences” are generally meant for hunting. We Texans do love our venison. But the poem, to me, is ultimately peaceful. Hence my title.
I was flattered when Sam Hamill contacted me after this first appeared in 2014. We had a brief exchange about the sun and moss and academics that I’ll cherish forever.
This originally appeared on the blog in April 2014.
O at the Edges 
I love your “Deer Sanctuary” version. I always have a feeling of reverence when deer come into our yard from the woods.
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Quite a few passed through on my rural Texas property, which was in effect a sanctuary, as I was the only one in the neighborhood who didn’t hunt.
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Your thoughts are a magical tribute to what surrounds us. Thank you for this 💕🕊💕
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Thanks very much, Linda. Much appreciated.
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Fascinating.
And love that Sam Hamill
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Thanks, Dan. I was quite surprised when Hamill reached out to me. We had an excellent discussion. A treasured memory.
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Nicely done.
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Thanks very much!
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Poetry as sanctuary, a place to reflect.
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It has been mine for many years!
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Wow. That’s a tough one through and through to work at from the literal gloss.
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Well, having looked at many other versions certainly helped. The Weinberger book is excellent!
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