Another untitled poem from the 80s…
wood and water
the wave of
fragrance so perfect
we seek to
obtain it as
if we could
be windows open
to a light
the gentlest cloud
would obscure still
spreading like one’s
final exhalation which
travels only to
disperse and become
at last another’s
O at the Edges 
exquisite!
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Thank you, Afzal. Much appreciated!
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thank YOU, and may your writing continue to dazzle us
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🙂
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Sounds like an “earlier” you, but similarly focused and still controlling that amazing imagery.
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Thank you, Linda. Even my lines were thinner back then. 🙂 But not my hair!
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We are all suffering from the thinning–except for the waistline!
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Don’t I know it!
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Beautiful! I love your clever use of enjambment.
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Thank you, Betty. My use of enjambment has changed a bit over the years, but I still love playing with it.
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I’ve been experimenting with it just lately (after being in a rut for years) and finding it fun to both write and read. So many possibilities!
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It’s such a great tool for rhythm, or for setting up a surprise for the reader.
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It’s the surprises I like – the double meanings. Adds dimension while remaining succinct.
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Yes, or that unexpected turn opening up the possibilities.
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You’re amazingly adept at that. I’ve got much to learn!
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Thank you. I think my brain just veers in that direction. 🙂
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I agree about the enjambment. The third stanza stands so well alone, but shines even more as it flows from the whole, both above and below.
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This form isn’t conducive to what I try to do with enjambment today, but it helped me learn.
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A perfect lyric moment! And I just love the ongoingness of the breath at the end, so inclusive and poignant at the same time.
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Thanks, Lynne. I found this just the other day. I’d thought to do a chapbook of this style way back then, and had typed up twenty poems, and saddle stapled a copy as a model, and never did anything with it. So I guess it’s an edition of one. Ha!
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Oh, but you could do something with it now, Bob! Black Lawrence Press (among others) has an open call for submissions for chapbooks etc. this month, until the end of June. If it’s ready to go, no down side to sending it in and seeing what happens. I really like the tone of this poem!
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Oh, I dunno. I’ve four chapbook manuscripts circulating already. It’s getting ridiculous! 😄
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Well, that’s fantastic, Bob! You’re a juggler – good luck!
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I’m more of a recorder of rejections.
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So beautiful. Glides across my heart leaving peace in it’s wake.
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Thank you, Angela. You’ve made my day.
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Beautifully done – wafting along to the end
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Thanks, Derrick. I seem to waft a lot these days, even at my weight!
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Thank you for this – synchronicity – catching up on posts this morning after yesterday visiting the grave of a recently prematurely lost friend (up in Iowa, his childhood home) Great comfort in the last lines here … perhaps inhaling one of his last exhales.
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I lost the friend who inspired this form about ten years after I wrote these poems. His breath, his words, still inspire me.
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