I’ll Turn But Clouds Appear



I’ll Turn But Clouds Appear

You gather and disperse and nothing I do salves my hunger.
Where are you, if not here among the roots of dead flowers

or inches below the window’s opening
in the leaf-filtered light. Or spread across

the ceiling, caught in filaments of expelled
hope. Savoring motion, I look up and address the Dog Stars,

longing to catch your attention. But clouds muffle
my words, and instead I turn

to the fragrance of tomato and garlic and spice
wafting into the night. What could bring you back?

Not love. Not wine. Not solitude, nor the sound of my voice.
I spoon out the sauce, cautiously, and wait.


* * *

“I’ll Turn but Clouds Appear” first appeared in Bindlestiff.




27 thoughts on “I’ll Turn But Clouds Appear

  1. Wow. What timing! Yesterday I needed my heavy coat to do my daily around-the-block walk – haven’t had it on since going to MN last Thanksgiving. A few feet down the walk, in coat pocket I find the Olive Garden receipt from Nov 24 2021 – exactly 3 months prior – my daughter and I lunched there in my son’s memory. Fingering the receipt, I could hear him chuckling through the chilly clouds. And now reading your “fragrance of tomato and garlic and spice” I too am chuckling. Foods become emotional anchors.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Food most definitely conjures up emotional resonances for me. My mother’s last meal was spaghetti in a simple tomato-ground beef sauce. Had I known it was to be her last meal, I would have cooked something Japanese. But she ate a small dish of the spaghetti (she’d barely touched food in a week), thanked me for cooking, and said she loved me. What greater gift could I have received? The next day she lapsed into a wordless state, and three days later she was gone. Every time I make spaghetti with a meat sauce I think of her.

      Liked by 1 person

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