I’ll Turn But Clouds Appear
You gather and disperse and nothing I do salves my hunger.
Where are you, if not here among the roots of dead flowers
or inches below the window’s opening
in the leaf-filtered light. Or spread across
the ceiling, caught in filaments of expelled
hope. Savoring motion, I look up and address the Dog Stars,
longing to catch your attention. But clouds muffle
my words, and instead I turn
to the fragrance of tomato and garlic and spice
wafting into the night. What could bring you back?
Not love. Not wine. Not solitude, nor the sound of my voice.
I spoon out the sauce, cautiously, and wait.
* * *
“I’ll Turn but Clouds Appear” first appeared in Bindlestiff.
O at the Edges 
I enjoyed reading this poem!
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I’m so pleased it resonated for you!
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Wow. What timing! Yesterday I needed my heavy coat to do my daily around-the-block walk – haven’t had it on since going to MN last Thanksgiving. A few feet down the walk, in coat pocket I find the Olive Garden receipt from Nov 24 2021 – exactly 3 months prior – my daughter and I lunched there in my son’s memory. Fingering the receipt, I could hear him chuckling through the chilly clouds. And now reading your “fragrance of tomato and garlic and spice” I too am chuckling. Foods become emotional anchors.
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Food most definitely conjures up emotional resonances for me. My mother’s last meal was spaghetti in a simple tomato-ground beef sauce. Had I known it was to be her last meal, I would have cooked something Japanese. But she ate a small dish of the spaghetti (she’d barely touched food in a week), thanked me for cooking, and said she loved me. What greater gift could I have received? The next day she lapsed into a wordless state, and three days later she was gone. Every time I make spaghetti with a meat sauce I think of her.
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Robert you’re such a creative soul. I read this four times, and each time it had a different impact on me. Thank you for sharing.
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Thanks very much, Charles. It’s good to hear from you. I hope you’re doing well in this strange time.
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Thank you very much, Robert! I hope you’re doing very well too, despite all.
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Life is good despite the stresses of the pandemic and war.
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Good to hear!
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This is really interesting, I had to read it a couple of times.
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Thank you!
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I wander lonely as a cloud…
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Oh, to be a cloud!
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Couldn’t agree more with sircharlesthepoet.. I enjoyed reading it and re-reading it. It’s just wonderful, especially the line,…caught in filaments of expelled hope. 👏👏😇😇🙏
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You are very generous. Thank you!
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The sense of loss is palpable, but also the possibility of some compensating Restitution.
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One hopes for some sort of compensation, whether spiritual or physical.
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Mind boggling Robert ..
“Or spread across
the ceiling, caught in filaments of expelled
hope. Savoring motion, I look up and address the Dog Stars,”
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Thank you, Ivor. I look for my departed loved ones everywhere…
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Captivating and truly thought provoking
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Nice poem! Thanks for sharing.
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Thank you very much. I’m so pleased you like it.
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Beautiful post dear. I like it
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Thank you.
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mine pleqsure deqr
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You convey that inchoate hunger felt when something, someone is missing and you are missing them. A big poem.
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Thanks very much Rachel. I’m often speechless and incapable of responding in any comprehensible manner at the time of events and circumstances, but the words build up…
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